I’m a mesomorph, not an endomorph. I had to look back to my non-overweight body composition, shape, and functioning (metabolic). And the crazy thing is that majority of my family is mesomorphic, with only a few who are just plain endomorphy.
I think if anything I’m a slightly endomorphic mesomorph, but that’s mostly because of the way my metabolism functions. I am not a person who can just diet and lose weight. I have to train hard. And I need to cut down on the starchy carbs. Apparently, I should be timing them, but that’s going to take some 2am binge reading of food science articles. In the meantime, I’ll be getting some meal planning done this weekend for next week. I find it hard to cut out rice (brown) but I can definitely cut down.
And thank God for Sworkit. I swear. I just have to add more cardio to my training instead of focusing on the resistance/strength circuits. But dance starts back up on 9/7 and I’ll be getting PLENTY of cardio then.
That’s my old phone. Kinda frustrating that I’m just about back where I started. But looking at this photo, I can see my perspective/perception has changed. I’m not disgusted. Just frustrated. I see my goal and considering I have ZERO interest in being skinny/thin, I know it’s attainable. Yay for #thickfit goals.
My body used to look like this. Exactly like this. Marquita Pring is the closest thing to fitspo/thinspo I will ever find in someone else. In this photo, she even has my little love handles — even though she’s posing to hide them and I spy a little Photoshop.
It’s been a long time since I’ve looked like this. Long enough. I’m not even gonna bullshit. I let depression and anxiety get the better of me. My ex blamed me for his cheating. Hint: If you start a sentence with “I’m not blaming you but…,” NEWSFLASH— you’re blaming me. I was the girl with great legs and short skirts, a bubbly personality, and people loved being around me. I went out to concerts and clubs and made new friends all the time. Somehow his insecurities gave him license to put it in any woman with low self-esteem who would buy his paranoia over the fact that I absolutely had to be cheating on him. With everyone. Because being bi-must make me a super slut. But not on purpose because I was also very young and naive and any guy who knew me was only a friend because he wanted to sleep with me — so it wasn’t completely my fault… do you see the bullshit? Nevermind most of these guys were into short/tiny girls or blonde girls or white girls only. Oh no. That could never be the case.
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