I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster all month. Ever since my [ex-] father-in-law passed away. The funeral was 12/6 and I think that was the big thing. I saw him the afternoon before he died. It was the first time I visited in a while. His cancer was getting worse and I needed to see him. I’m glad I did but I’m still wonky over everything. But it’s not like I’m his real daughter so of course I’m expected to just be fine by now.
Anyway, Bob’s passing has had me obsessing over family and doing better for myself financially and finishing my education and it’s been overwhelming. I haven’t been obsessing over things in a healthy, constructive way. And I sure as hell haven’t been working out consistently. I’ve been doing a lot of sleeping and crochet and video games and sex. That’s about it.
So, I’ve reached the other side of the depression again. Now that I am fully aware and motivated to get back into the swing of things, I’m going full force. I have a 2017 planner that started this week. I’ll be logging workouts and health notes in there. So not so much a planner as a reflection book. Because apps are great, but paper owns my heart. So yes, I will be copying Fitbit and My Fitness Pal data to my planner/journal. It willbe like a daily meditation on achieving wellness.
And today I have a doctor’s appointment to get everything tested and see about Qsymia– but that’s a whole other post right there.