Someone mentioned having a case of “the fuck-its” and I think I’m almost there. I’m doing stronglifts 5×5 and trying to walk the dog more on off days. I wanted to see if just lifting would be enough. It’s not. Yes, the muscle is there. Yes, I’m stronger. No, I’m not really getting smaller. And I worry that eating this much — even though it’s at a deficit– is part of the problem. I feel like I should go back to eating 1500-1800 cal/day. Like maybe a “healthy” deficit isn’t what I need. Maybe I need a drastic one, regardless of my weight-lifting obsession. For now. I’ll just add 30min pilates on off days and see if that helps. And drop from 2635cal to 2300. I don’t know. It all feels like bullshit and a waste of time.